Homily: Words Matter

[00:00:04] Good morning. Welcome to St. Mike's. Let's get everybody here. Welcome. So at the base of the human brain, some of you may know, is a little gland. It's called the hypothalamus gland. And among other things, the hypothalamus gland puts into the human body this hormone called oxytocin.

[00:00:30] And oxytocin is often called the cuddle chemical, the cuddle chemical, because often when people experience moments of bonding with another human being, intimacy, when somebody builds them up, they experience a flood of this hormone called oxytocin. For instance, this happens when a woman gives birth. There's a strong amount of oxytocin in her body and the baby's body, by the way.

[00:01:00] Very, very cool. It also happens when we build somebody up with our words. They experience oxytocin. Conversely, on the other side, there's another gland in the body called the pituitary gland. And the pituitary gland monitors another hormone called cortisol. If you're not familiar with cortisol, this is our fight or flight chemical.

[00:01:26] It often happens when we're stressed, for instance, when we have to fight, when we have to defend ourselves, right? Soldiers in battle experience high quantities of cortisol. And by the way, they have shown, studies have shown that people that grow up in dysfunctional families have experienced very, very high levels of cortisol cortisol because they're always defending themselves, right? Never know what's going to come.

[00:01:54] If people have too much cortisol in their body, it can lead to a disease called Cushing's disease. Never good. Never good. Here's my point. Words matter. Words matter. When you and I build somebody up with our words, we are affecting them on three levels. The spiritual, the emotional, and the physical.

[00:02:24] The physiological on a somatic level, they experience oxytocin, right? When you build them up. When we break them down, when we gossip, when things that we say about them get back to their ears, keeping in mind if they gossip with you, they're going to gossip about you. That's how it goes. They're going to experience cortisol. You're affecting them on a spiritual level, emotional level, and a physiological level. Our words matter.

[00:02:53] Maybe we could put it this way. So, with our words, we can help people constructively or destructively. We can heal or hurt. Maybe another way to put it, if you don't remember anything of what I tell you this morning, please remember this. People hear our words, but they feel our attitudes. They hear our words, but they're going to feel your attitude. You think I'm lying?

[00:03:24] Have you ever had somebody give you the silent treatment? Hmm, don't answer that. Right? We know it. We feel it. You know, the saints, for their part, they call this temperance of the tongue. I love that. Temperance of the tongue. You know what that is, right? You're going into a tense office meeting. I've been in a few. I'll park my car. And before I get out of the car, I'm like, hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.

[00:03:52] Please let me not say what's on my mind. Right? It's coming out of your mouth and you're like, no, get back in there. Right? You're going to see your brother-in-law at the holidays and you're like, please give me temperance of the tongue. Spontaneous prudence, they call this, right? On a moment's notice, I'm going to say the right thing, not the wrong thing. Temperance of the tongue. With our words, look, we can be constructive or destructive. We can heal or hurt.

[00:04:20] They hear your words, but they're going to feel our attitudes. They are. So last week, you recall, we talked about the first commandment. What's the first commandment? I can wait all day, guys. I got nothing to do after mass. I'm ready, man. We're going to say it in a few words. First line of the creed. I believe in... We honor God, honor God's name today, honor God's day next week. Right?

[00:04:49] So if that's true, the people hear our words and feel our attitudes, and that means that applies to God. Right? He hears our words. Next week, he's going to feel our attitude if we honor the Sabbath. And the irony, of course, is everybody that needs to hear about honoring the Sabbaths, not at the Sabbaths or whatever. Yeah. So, but that's true, right? Right? Because God is hearing all of our words.

[00:05:20] And what we say kind of flippantly, yeah? They matter, man. They really do. I don't know if anybody here ever knew Father Bill Parham. God rest his soul. So, Father Bill and I lived together at Incarnation Church. And one day, I was in the kitchen, and I was making chocolate chip cookies for the grade school teachers. And Father Parham comes in and he said, Father Bradshaw, I've been looking at the parish finances.

[00:05:50] He said, is it really necessary that we spend $300 a month on butter? And I was like, yes. And he's like, okay, okay. Just thought I'd ask. All right. I explained to him, like this is my love language. It's my love language. It's how I communicate with people. Because if that's true, that they hear our words but feel our attitude, something as small

[00:06:19] as cookies maybe can help somebody's day. Hmm. Martin Luther King, Jr., the way he put it was this. He said, towards the end of our life, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but we will remember the silence of our friends. We won't remember the words of our enemies, these little jabs that people take behind our

[00:06:48] back, but we will remember the silence of our friends. The people we hoped would be there to support us, to defend us, to be a shoulder to cry on. We're going to remember that silence. They remember our attitudes. During the Second World War, Edward R. Murrow, the journalist, this is what he said about Winston Churchill. Churchill.

[00:07:14] He said of Churchill, he said he, quote, mobilized the English language and sent it into battle. He mobilized the English language and sent it into battle. Our words matter. They inspire. They can be constructive or destructive. They can heal or hurt. Many of the times, I have to tell you on a personal note, many of the times that I have worked with

[00:07:41] families and one of the parents or spouses just refuses to show any kind of affection towards the other person or their children. And they said, well, Father, look, I'm not touchy-feely. My response to that? Okay. It's your marriage, man. But I can tell you this.

[00:08:07] You are clearly sending a message to your spouse and your kids when you refuse to show some kind of affection. Your choice. People feel our attitudes. They feel them. They internalize it, right? I mean, those of you here with children, I mean, you know this better than I do. Right? They know if you're stressed. What's wrong? Nothing. Don't lie.

[00:08:37] They know this, yeah? So, I just want to give you, if your permission, an example of a group of people that taught me how much words matter. Let's go back in time a little bit. Third century. Third century, we had this emperor who was a pretty despotic human being. We had quite a few of those. His name was Decius. He died in the year 251 at the age of 50. Decius.

[00:09:05] So, one day, Decius, he sends out a decree to everybody in the Roman Empire. And he said, from now on, every Roman citizen has to honor worship to, well, me. Because I'm divine. Right? So, everybody in the Roman Empire, men, women, and children, had to go and offer formal worship to Decius and not to Jesus Christ.

[00:09:36] So, the way this would work is they would line up. Imagine bringing your whole family. They'd line up to this counter. There's a prefect, Roman prefect there. And they say a very prescribed formula of worship to the emperor and rejection of Jesus Christ. Okay? They take a little incense, put a little incense in there, and they get a document. And the name of the document is called a labellus. And if you had a labellus document, you and your family were fine.

[00:10:04] And if you did not have a labellus document, it's estimated that Decius killed 50,000 Christians. Men, women, and children. So, during that time, as you can imagine, you've got kids. They come. Many of the parents, they said what had to be said.

[00:10:34] So, the big question at the time in the church was, okay, they rejected Jesus Christ to save their own skin. Can they be let back in the church? They called them the lapsi. The pope at the time, Pope Fabian, he was like, yes, of course. We can forgive that Jesus understands. I think all of us would agree. It's one thing if it's you. It's another thing if it's your kid's life on the line. Right? But this is why I'm sharing this story with you.

[00:11:03] You know who, which group of people were the most courageous? The kids. The kids. Eight, nine, ten years old. Going before the prefects saying, I believe in Jesus Christ. Do what you may. You gonna kill me? Let's do it. Kids. And you know what happened?

[00:11:31] There were so many thousands of Romans that were inspired by these children, they became Catholic. They became Christian. Those kids who gave their life understood a very simple principle. Words matter, boy. And I just wanna ask everybody here a question that I'm asking myself. Could you do it?

[00:12:03] If that was you? They did. With our words, we can be constructive or destructive, heal or hurt. People will hear our words, but I can promise you they will feel your attitude. And I'll see you soon. Thank you.